Hey thereeeeee..me backie backie erh..rite now in skool's access lab level 1..can type nicely seh..hahaha..
Hmmm..updates updates..well well well pple..guess wat?..yah i noe this news is aredi sooo the outdated, but anyhows, i still wanna tell the world wide web that i found W's blog!!!..woohoo!!!..oh maaan..wat the tootz rite?..i mean, of all pple's blog erh.. >.<
And sumore hor, i happened to find it on New Year's Day itself lor..it was all thanx to dearest dearest Qian who taught me how to search for pple's blog..i haf been searching high & low for W's blog sia..
And u noe u noe u noe, i reali had a hell lot of 'fun' reading her blog..& her frens' blog too..like..whoaaaaaa..evrything juz unveiled rite in front of my very own eyes rite?!..cooooool..
Sumore it's like, acheli i felt kind of 'no feeling' reading her blog erh..i only got excited when my name was mentioned in both W's blog & her fren's blog..hmmm..i guess sumthing's wrong wif me ba..i didn't reali feel the pain when i read that Huey acheli kissed W when he was still wif me..
Hey pple..i'm washing my dirty linens in public again k..so pretty please don't tell anyone about this..i guess this post's gonna be the last one i'll ever mention about Huey again, unless necessary..
So in W's blog, she mentioned this :
"Den smlm M***** has hes hands on ma lap..hahaha..Balek ngn me..n he was leanin on me in d train...Smlm while waitink fer ajim..m***** ask if i was crius wit him..trufulli im nt..n dun tink he is..but most ppl sae he is..Den binget jugak ar pasal Rara tink..a gal he known thru fwenster n they both got their pic on their fwenster..mcm matair siol...but m***** ckp dier tkder apape dgn si rara 2..tahla..."
Translation : " Then yesterday M***** had his hands on ma lap..went home wif me..leaned on me in the train..while waiting for Ajim, m***** asked if i was serious wif him..truthfully i'm not..& don't tink he is.....then kinde pissed off about the Rara thingy..a gal he known thru Frenster.....like couple sia..but m***** said he don't haf anything wif her..donoe lah.."
I acheli had a more clearer view of the whole thing when i read W's fren's blog..hers was more detailed on wat happened evryday..& geez..found out that she likes Ajim..*pui pui pui*..puhleeeease..she looks sooo much older than me, although she's acheli younger than me by 1 yr..& she wants Ajim?..NO WAY..& furthermore, she's..well..attached..
Wah if i very cunning hor, i shud tell Ajim that she likes her..ahaha..he'll certainly run for his lifeeee!!!!..ahahaha..
Wah kaoz..wat the hell is happening to these minahs sia?..W is believed to be attached too when she go steady wif Huey..meaning, she has 2 bfs?..*woops*..these girls are like, CHEAP!!!..& acheli, one part of W's blog mentioned this :
"Yesterdae was my 1YR11MTHS ANNIVERSARY wit gg..hehe time flies so fast n im even goin on skandaling wit other guys..bt d truft is tat i still love n adore him so much n it wil bleed lyke hell if he goes away. "
Wooooo..& that was dated 6th of September..& on 8th of October, she even congratulated herself on their 2 years anniversary..hmmm..i tink she's still attached to this GG or whoever he is, cos on 4th of November, she mentioned that she went to skool wif GG..& she went steady wif Huey on 5th of November..hmmm?..
Seriously & honestly speaking, i reali felt nothing when i read all these stuff about Huey bla bla bla wif W & all that..i reali donoe y..i tink i'm like, u noe, toooo immune to these kind of stuff & it's like, a few more 'shocks' didn't make any impact at all..i guess i had the worst of the worst 'shock' when he put down my pics in Frenster, & then, these stuff that i read in W's blog, i was like, "..expected..".."oh..ok..".....
Don't tell me i'm aredi 'heartless'?..not as in very mean or bad that kind of heartless..but my definition is that, the first shock aredi hurts reali deep down inside..then when i received another heart-breaking news, i'm like..no feeling?..too tired to even react to situation?..
It's like..u noe..in my mind, i was like, "yeah..so wat else?..juz bring it on.."..i guess immune's the word..i dowan to cry over spilt milk..& i dowan to live my life regretting..u can't live life to the fullest tinking wat u shud haf done & wat u shudn't..
Loving him & shedding tears for him..i will not regret..sumhow or rather, it makes me a little bit stronger..the whole thing sort of 'opened' up my life..
3th Jan 2005..we were messaging each other around midnite..
"U,im reali t0uched n greatful dat my presence has c0mmand a permanent place in ur heart n br0ught a spark in ur life..Tanx hun.."
"Tanx dear 4 reali2 understanding me..Nice n0eing u..Glad i f0und u..Letz make a deal dat n0 matter wat cums al0ng,we wil st0re each other in our hearts"
"Hope u w0nt ever 4get me wen u reali f0und ur knight in extremely shiny arm0r" These smses were from him that nite..
Then on 14th of Jan..he messaged me again :
"U,i'l b bz n0wadays k..N w0nt b able 2 msg u often..n0w tings btwn me n w*** r g0ing fine..She was jeles wen she read ur msgs on my hp..But u r stil my guardian angel..If u do haf pr0bs,just c0nfide in me k..but d0n misunderstand me ..d0 dr0p me a msg wen u free k"
Before that, he said we ought to sms each other at least once a day to make sure that the other party is doing fine..so when he message me this, i was like "..since u want it that way..we'll do it that way.."..wateve it is, i'm not gonna drop him a message no matter how free i am..
15th of Jan was the start of my 'battle'..no more 'unnecessary' smses from him anymore..i guess u all shud noe wat's the meaning of 'unnecessary'..i do feel a tinge of anguish..i muz be lying to myself if i didn't feel that way..
But i noe these things take time..now in the healing process..muz man man lai de..matters of the heart cannot be rushed into..can die of heart pain u noe..love can be the sweetest dream u mite haf, & when things go totally wrong, can juz be ur worst nitemare..haiz..
Now i tink i noe y some pple commit suicide cos of love..u love sumone alot alot alot, then when sumthing tragic happens, & the pain is sooo unbearable, u haf no choice but to stop the pain by..ending ur life..reali heart wrenching to haf ur heart broken by sumone u love like hell..
Guess wat..aaaaa..i feel like crying..cos i still love him..& i reali miss him..but wateve it is..i vowed not to bring myself down cos of him..since he wants W, let them kill each other ba..kill kill kill..die die die..i won't interfere in their affairs..none of my biz anyway..
I've wokened up..wide awake..it's his loss & not mine..u noe wat?..i wished he had regretted his choice..regret..for all i care..
Hey Huey..if u r reading this, which i noe u will not get the chance to, i juz wanna say sumthing to u..how i wished i cud say this rite in ur face but too bad, i'm not that daring :
"So..u said u loved me..but u went wif W behind my back..i jolly well knew from the start i'm juz ur spare tyre..but i was blinded by love..i'm not stupid..i'm juz foolish..all the while i was tinking u love me like how i love u too..
U gaf me high hopes, said this & that..but u ended up doing the opposite..after all those heart breaks, & after u went wif W***, i still forgaf u wholeheartedly..i was there for u when u had some problems wif W..i was there for u when u had some family problems..consoling u..assuring u that evrything will be alrite..i was ALWAYS there for u..
Where was W on ur burfday?..where was W when u needed a shoulder to cry on?..where was she when u needed sumone to confide in?..
But..look wat u did to me?..u played wif my feelings, leaving me wif a heart sooo sore beyond healing, i juz cried & cried to ease my pain..well..that was last time..i used to cry for u..but now i won't..
U noe wat Huey?..i juz can't seem to hate u..i reali donoe y..i do still love u..like a mom loving her son, like a sis loving a bro..that's how i love u..
But sumhow or rather, i got the feeling that my love for u is deteriorating..i even blocked u on MSN, u fool..& u noe wat?..i want u to find out for urself that W has been cheating u..sooner or later..i'm juz waiting for the 'good' news..
I want u to regret..regret that u ever treated me this way..regret that u never treasure me..regret that u left the gerl who loved u more than herself & was strong enuf to love u more although all her frens scolded her, looked down on her & practically gaf up hope on her..
I so badly wanted to ask u this one particular qn..but i donoe y am i so reluctant..
WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?
Anyways..i haf aredi forgiven u..but i'll never forget wat u did to me..& it's up to God to forgif u for ur sins..
This quote's for u..
One day you'll love me, the way I loved you. One day you'll think of me the way I thought of you. One day you'll cry for me, the way I cried for you. One day you'll want me, but I won't want you... "